Huh?

Kind of a strange past few days, with a lot of intense thoughts. A topic that has been on my mind has been the relationship that each one of has with violence, like the weather (Again, the weather metaphor?) it is always there. The back-story that brought these thoughts to the surface came from where I work. I work at High Purity Draw in Phoenix, AZ, it is a Computer Assisted Drafting services company to High tech contractors. (HUH?, exactly). Well we have 2 interns that have worked there for about 6 weeks, in the beginning I trained and orientated them to what we do (Not easy). One of them, I will call him H has had some CAD experience in the Architectural field. So over the weeks I processed information about him that I was given. He is very quiet and laid back, has a girlfriend, been unemployed for about 6 months but before that had worked with another co-worker of ours, grew up in or around L.A. He left L.A. to pursue a better life in Phoenix. Other info I received from him was that he lived in the avenues, my first thought was dangerous. Phoenix has Central Avenue that is just north of downtown and centrally located (Meant to be funny, sometimes funny is hard to convey in print). On the west side of Central is the avenues, and on the east side are the streets. Just like any city there are separations of race and class ( I use the word class, but the choice seems so wrong (It‘s an oxymoron (Look it up))). Well to break it down simply, if you go into the avenues you are risking your life. There are parts of the streets that are dangerous but just do not have the street cred of the avenues. (That sentence was fun to write, read it over and you might see what I mean). The interns were working part time in the beginning and there was a day that H wanted to be off at 4 because he had a shooting time at the range. It did not really sink in because in a way I come from an environment where firearms are common. I have a face book friend that I went to high school with and he is always posting pics of his grouping on range targets. So when H showed me pics of range targets on his phone it seemed like a normal part of the work day. Days are full of information, but does the information really lead to any truth? There I go again asking life questions. I now find it fascinating that firearms have been present in my life, yet I choose not to participate or interact with them at all. Heck my brother can watch an action movie and probably tell you what every gun is in the movie. I wonder if he has ever thought about that? Back to H, a couple of weeks ago I found out that he had been a victim of a house invasion, I will save you the details but he was even tied up (How many of you out there can say that you have been tied up by force and lived to tell about it?) If it happened to me I would be traumatized. I mean I have dodged my share of bullets like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix, and yes I have added my own personal brand of drama to this sentence, but I might be more pissed at the world if I went through that experience.

A couple days ago (Thurs) a detective called work and said that H was a witness being questioned and would not be to work. Throughout the day there was speculation and rumor. One opinion was that we would not see H again.

This is an article from the AZ Republic.

Phoenix man killed during home invasion

by Catherine Crook - Sept. 15, 2011 03:20 PM
The Arizona Republic-12 News Breaking News Team

A man was found shot to death in his home early Thursday while two children were in the home, according to the Phoenix Police Department.

Phoenix police officers responded to a report of an armed burglary near 83rd Avenue and Camelback Road about 4:19 a.m. Thursday.

Two men kicked open the door of the home, according to the Phoenix Police Department. Gunshots were heard shortly after they broke in. The homeowner was found mortally wounded in the back bedroom, according to the Phoenix Police Department.




At the time of the shooting, there were six people inside the home. Two of those people were children between 4 and 6 years old. There was also a man and two women in the home, according to Phoenix police.

Police believe that there were possibly three adult suspects.

Detectives are investigating the shooting. Police encourage anyone with information on this shooting to call the Phoenix Violent Crimes Bureau at (602) 262-6141 or Silent Witness at (480) WITNESS, (480) TESTIGO for Spanish.

I also saw a news report on the incident, and one detail that the news woman added was the heavy smell of marijuana from the house.

H came into work Friday morning. Again he was quiet, soft spoken, calm, and told us that the door of his house was kicked in and three men (If you got to know, one white, one black, and one latino) entered, one restrained him with a gun to his head while the other two went into his roommates room and shot him in the head before he could shoot back. The men took money and ran off. For some reason H put his gun in a drawer instead of having it under his pillow like normal. When he saw his roommate it was obvious he had checked out. He spent most of the day in a t-shirt and shorts with law enforcement, later in the day he was allowed to get some of his stuff and took it to a friends. H expressed his thankfulness of having a job, being alive, and told us that he did not do drugs.

Again, a lot of thoughts and questions have been flowing to my mind and heart. A therapist once told me that I was a suspicious person, and I know that I have taken a lot of negativity and pain from those suspicions. There are so many lessons in these events that I find it challenging to communicate them. I can turn all the negativity, suspicions, dark energy, etc. into positive energy in the form of questions and answers. Are you a villain or a hero? Are the answers you supply as important as answers in a Mad Lib?(Huh?) Where do I stand on a lot of these topics? Racism-Against it. Media-no matter the information everybody will create their own truth. Guns-instruments that people use for gain. Drugs-As my dad always said “They are poison”. Choice- totally for it. Fate- sometimes looks like choice.  H- good guy.  Class- fragile. People- be nice. Judgment- reserve it. Life-will go on.  Violence- it is real, we have seen it.

How will I end this string of thought- I will step away from the keyboard for a while.